


killing blow

by nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)



Series: dimension 20 [16]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: ?????? violence sure is a thing that people have to deal with, Campaign 05: A Crown of Candy, Canon-Typical Violence, Drabble, Gen, I don't know how to tag this, but that doesn't make them any less gone, introspective, it's about the things you sacrifice because it's worth it, me being emo about knights again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24465094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife
Summary: You aren’t ready, Princess Jet, is what he tells her.Your mother has forbidden it, is what he tells her.I pray to whatever is out there, be it the Bulb or the Sugar plum fairy, that you will never have to learn what a real killing blow feels like, he doesn’t say.
Relationships: Theobald Gumbar & Jet Rocks, Theobald Gumbar & Sir Toby
Series: dimension 20 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706107
Comments: 7
Kudos: 41





	killing blow

**Author's Note:**

> i don't KNOW what this is i just started thinking about THEO again and words happened. this isn't technically sad-sad. it's like. mild sad. medium sad. sad in the way things are sad decades after they've happened. i swear i will get back to writing things that aren't sad eventually

Jet is thirteen and melodramatic, flinging herself onto the dusty training grounds with a flourish. _I was cursed to be born in peacetime!_ she declares. _Why won’t you teach me a killing blow, Theobald!_ she pouts, candy cane “blade” at her side. 

_You aren’t ready, Princess Jet_ , is what he tells her. 

_Your mother has forbidden it_ , is what he tells her.

 _I pray to whatever is out there, be it the Bulb or the Sugar plum fairy, that you will never have to learn what a real killing blow feels like_ , he doesn’t say. 

Theo still remembers the first person he killed.

(Should Jet live long enough to hear this story, she will furrow her brow in confusion. _But you’re a knight_ , she says, _you fought in the war with dad. You’ve killed a bunch of people. What’s so special about one?_

Theo will shake his head, gently, and put a paw on her shoulder. _War is a different breed of horror_ , he’ll say. _I’m not talking about the lives I took then. I’m talking about the first time I took a life, knowingly and willingly_.)

He is newly knighted, and not yet Lazuli’s ward. He is with his company on a search in the Great Rock Candy Mountains, hunting bandits who’d stepped past their normal haunts along the roads and started burning fields. 

They find them easily enough. Theo enters the fight with the overconfidence of youth, and the surety of his fellows-in-arms by his side. 

But the bandits keep spilling from the woods, and they are starting to become overwhelmed. His shield-

 _not yet Swirlwarden. T_ _hat shield will come as a gift from the Archmage, a few weeks into his wardship. “You’ll need it, given what’s happened,” she’ll say, and then turn back to her work_. _Theo will stare at it, confused and grateful._

-is covered in scratches from deflected blades.

Then he sees Toby pinned against a tree. There is no one else near enough to help him. The blade comes up toward his throat-

Theo thrusts his sword through the man’s neck, and his head rolls. 

The cloying sweetness of his blood coats Theo’s armor, and his throat tightens. Toby looks at him and must see something, (Toby has always been good at reading Theo’s face, and Theo has never minded because why would he-?) because he tugs Theo’s arm roughly and says, _not now. Just make it through this, Theo._

The rest of the fight is a blur. They lose only one knight, though many of the others are badly wounded, and they almost lose another on the trek back. 

Toby sticks to Theo’s side, as if he can sense the image playing over and over in his mind, the crystal clarity of his blade severing through candied bone. 

Theo became a knight knowing that he would have to fight for his country, his king. Knowing that there would be sugared blood on his hands. 

But it’s one thing to promise that sacrifice, and another to give it.

Toby doesn’t speak, despite his proximity. Not until they’re back at their bunks, doffing their armor for polishing.

“Do you regret it?” Toby asks. Theo knows that he isn’t talking about the taking of this life specifically, but of the oaths that they’ve both made that have made it unavoidable. About their choice to serve, if this is what it takes.

“I’m sorry that it has to be done like this. But I could never regret it.”

Toby nods. They continue in silence.


End file.
